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The Hunt Begins

Today, the state stood still as the members of the terrorist group known as the Sanguinem Somnia Motorcycle club had their identities revealed to the public and where marched into the court room to hear their charges. James James has been found guilty of multiple accounts of murder and domestic terrorism and has officially been sentenced to death under federal law. Several other members meet the same fate at their trials in a weeks time, one of these includes the notorious "Roadman Ryan" who has been confirmed to still be in federal custody.

However, one man has failed to turn himself in to the authorities and is believed to still be on the run. Less than 2 hours ago, the Los Santos Police Department has released a statement, asking for any information  regarding the possible whereabouts or a white, tall, blond male called "Jake Ryans". The police are also offering a money sum for any information that directly leads to the whereabouts of this dangerous felon. The following images have also been released to attempt to help identify him.

Please remember, this man is highly dangerous, do not approach him. Keep your distance and call the police IMMEDIATELY.

That's all for now, stay safe Los Santos

- Jimmy Fishmonger

An Officer's Last Ride


Eve Summits here with Weasel News. Today, a certain kind of gloom fell over Los Santos as we mourned the loss of a brave police officer. Trooper David was a brave, ready-for-action individual that loved his job deeply. He was always first to jump on any and all calls given to him. Sadly, he faced a very brutal and disturbing death, which I am not aloud to speak about here for its severity is too much for children.


His final ride started at his beloved station in East Los Santos, following up route 13, until reaching his final resting place at the church off route 68. He was followed by his fellow officers and loving family close behind. A heartwarming speech was given by a close friend of his, and the bagpipes sounded as he was laid to his final resting place.


Please keep him and his family in your thoughts and prayers

Jet Ski Jumper


A man and his two friends decided to take advantage of a nice evening out on the beach. Things turned south when one of the men hit a ramp too hard, causing him to fly off his jet-ski and hit his head on a ramp. The female immediately called emergency services as they dragged him onto a ramp to keep him from drowning. An ambulance and fire truck arrived at the scene as medical personnel transported him back to shore, where he was rushed to the hospital. He managed to get away with injuries including: a concussion, head wound, and miscellaneous injuries. He is expected to make a full recovery. Please remember to always stay safe out on the water, folks. You never know when a good night will turn ugly.









-Eve Summits, signing off.

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